The Ideal Woman

Remember I mentioned that I read more crap from the Life and Style section of timesonline rather than doing other, more meaningful things these days? Well, true to form I've stumbled over an article that tickled me.

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/life_and_style/men/article4790198.ece

Giles Coren cracked me up, even though I don't want a woman who makes the admission he seeks, probably because I have neither no doubt!

Fortunately, I happen to believe such a creature does exist. MPLST is the all round perfect woman. Perfect for me at least. She might be surprised to find I think this, because I generally find something to pick at in everything she does, and I'm usually not shy in telling her. That's more down to me being a narky twat than her failings as the perfect partner though.

The perfect woman will be good company when you go shopping for a dress. She may try on 50, she may even go back and buy the first one. But what she must always be prepared to do is accept your word that the said dress may look terrible once on her person, may even make her arse look big, or heaven forbid, actually looks fantastic.
And another thing, she needs to understand that 10, 12, 14, 16, are just numbers (less than that, is not a woman. Eat carbs girls. Lots of carbs. And cheese.)There is no point whatsoever in a lady squishing her carcass into clothes of the size she thinks she should be. Especially lingerie, the next size up is always more flattering. Women who know this are rare. Women who are prepared to live by it, even rarer. Of course, it's all immaterial for me right now, because there is nothing in the world that can turn you off to your partner quite like a nursing bra can. I live in hope, she can't breastfeed forever.....

A woman who can do "mans" stuff is brilliant. I once watched on as MPLST got out the jigsaw and laid a laminate floor, whilst insisting I watched football. Seriously, the only thing she could have done to make it better was bring beer. Well, maybe that's not the only thing, but you get the gist. This was early in our relationship though, so I didn't push my luck and ask. I bet she'd bring beer now though. Without being asked too. On top of that, she can put oil in the car, wallpaper, inflate tyres and use a lawnmower. In fact, if I'm honest, she can do a lot of man stuff better than I can. Maybe that's why I'm left with the cooking and ironing? Oh well, it works for us.

Last but not least, MPLST is looking after my boys on her tod. I doubt it's easy, but she's not the type to complain.

Perfect indeed.