Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Never Mind Rage Against the Machine

That's right. I haven't blogged in weeks, and when I do find the time, it's to have a go at my dear old mother! I'll set the scene -

I call home about half an hour after kiddy bed time. You know when someone answers the phone in that tone? The one when you can tell immediately that something just hasn't gone quite to plan. I detected it in my darling wife's voice. I couldn't possibly repeat what she said because a) my mother might read this, and b) that's the same mouth that is kissing my kids goodnight.

My mother you see, is obsessed with leaving a light on for the kids at night. Between my daughters mother, other grandmother and her, they have managed to create a fear of the dark that scares poor SS more than the Bogey Man himself. The boys though, they go to bed every night with the lights out and the door closed. Always have done - despite her best efforts to break the unbroken.

In fact, a week or two ago, I stayed at her house and noticed she was about to put BB's light on. You would think that "Don't you dare put that light on" was as clear a message as one can give. Simple. Understandable. Clear. Apparently not!

Now, we're not totally naive. We know that both our mothers ignore many of our wishes and generally spoil the kids rotten. Each has their grandparents wrapped right around their little finger. We have learned not to be stressed by this, we accept it even. Most of the time, at least. I've turned a blind eye to the sweets and cakes they get. Those are grandparents treats. But sleeping habits.........arrrrrrrrrrgh!

So, here comes the part where we are an ungrateful pair of moaning sods. Normally, she has an excuse. She might say, for instance, it's a strange house when we stay at hers, so she'll leave the light on. I'll say don't bother and she glares at me, but can't do it because I'm staying too. But this time.....this time she is staying at our house. MPLST has had to go away to work for a couple of nights. Excellent, granny swings her shifts and comes to look after the kids and take BB to nursery. Even better, they have the familiarity of their own bedrooms. What could be simpler?

Why then, has MPLST just spent an hour with a screaming boy who wants the light on, when he has managed every single night for almost 3 and a half years without one?

Tonight, she was right. My mother is indeed a fucking menace!