A Mum's Life - Not As Busy As One Thinks!

BB had his first overnight in hospital as last weeks mystery illness got suddenly worse. I couldn't make it home, but fortunately the worst was over after only one night.

But nuff of that...

I always thought it was only in the mythological world of single dads that mum had it easy. I now have evidence to the contrary....

The picture above is BB's Halloween pumpkin, carved by the fair hand of MPLST. Any mum who can find the time to do that clearly has way to much time on her hands. Nevertheless, I am impressed with the pumpkin, and I'm just sad that I am not there to enjoy the feast. Waste of good pumpkin that is!

Sea Views

But not quite the ones I want right now.....

As is always the way, the last two weeks passed me by far quicker than the preceding two weeks of work, and I find myself counting down the sleeps once again. On one hand I'm back where I get some quality shut eye, but on the other I miss the family.

It's been a tough week for BB, with starting playgroup and having us leave him for longer than ever before with relative strangers. Then on top of that, dad has gone and left him, so we thought that would explain his bad mood yesterday. He was basically needy, demanding and stroppy....all the things a two year old boy should be I suppose, except it is actually unusual for him.

I was relieved to hear that last night, after a whole day of playing up, he finally vomited all over himself and his mother. I'm not missing home quite as much now!

Seriously, at least there is something to explain the change in mood though, and hopefully it's not serious and he'll be back on form in no time. And it proves he listens to me. That was another thing we agreed he'd save for mum.

Firsts

Little Lad got his first bottle from dad last night. Not much of a bottle mind you, as mum has only just started expressing (the wonder of the breast pump, yet another thing that can lead you to question your wife's sex appeal!) Anyway, I digress...LL took the feed well, so I can only assume that means lots of boys nights in to come next leave as mum does her thinking with the other mums who apparently never get out.

Today, BB had his first day at playgroup. I think it went well and he did it all on his lonesome without mum or dad. In fact, I think mum was more traumatised over it than he was judging by the look I saw on her face as we drove off this morning. I think the Danish pastry and peaceful morning brew we enjoyed upon my return went a long way to convincing her that it was for the best though. Judging by the picture he brought home, I think he rather enjoyed it too.

We also got to talking about firsts later in the day. MPLST noted that she has given her grandma two firsts in the last couple of years. Last Christmas was grandma's first ever Christmas stocking, in her 82nd year, and a month or two back, we invited her to her first ever barbecue. I'm told firsts are exciting, no matter how old you are when you have them. Perhaps it even helps to be old enough to appreciate them.

A Match Made in Heaven

Here's how it works:
Take one post natal woman, tired if possible.
Add one post nightshift man, these only ever come tired.
Deprive both of even more sleep.

You can imagine where this will lead, can't you? That's a whole week I've been home, and I'm still waking up bright as a button with the 4am feed, yet the last time I looked, my man breasts still proved useless to LL, so there is little point in being awake at this stupid hour. Then come 6pm, I can't keep my eyes open, just as BB and I should be having our rough and tumble time. I think this renders me next to useless as both father and husband. It seems my domestic popularity is similar to Gordon Brown's.

I fancy my chances of recovery better though.

Free Range Kids

I can't remember where I got this site from, but in the age of the helicopter parent, it's refreshing. Obviously, I like it because I am a cold hearted, callous bar steward who just wants them to learn the hard way. Well, that's how some people see it, I'm sure. I keep meaning to read it more often, so I'll leave a link on the page.

http://freerangekids.wordpress.com/

Lenore Skenazy, the woman who infamously allowed her 9 year old son to find his way home from downtown Manhattan. I remember reading it earlier this year. I recalled how, aside from the first 6 weeks of primary 1, no adult walked me to school. After that, I knew the way. It drives me nuts how people judge you when you try and encourage a bit of trust in your own kids, because they feel the need to smother theirs. But like all good things, take the good bits, and work out the crap for yourselves.....

Here's a cracking post though, just to give you a flavour of how controversial it can be:

What is WRONG with you people??? Giving our kids SOME independence is great. Giving them ALL of the independence they can take at age 9 is just plain dangerous (and irresponsible). My husband is a police officer and our children are only left with the trust of the teachers in their school or an occasional babysitting day with their grandparents. Otherwise, my husband and my JOB as parents are to RAISE them until they are ADULTS. Nine or Ten do not classify as adults. Or even teenagers for that matter. What on earth makes you think that a molester just won't go ahead and take your sons away Lenore. You feel you can trust strangers, but you CAN'T. Molesters will do ANYTHING do get what they want. Including holding a gun or knife to your child's body and MAKING them follow them to a car or designated area so they can hurt your child/children. Whoever leaves their child to walk amongst their city to take subways and cabs at age 9 does not deserve to be a parent. If you are blessed with children, you need to keep your eyes on them forever. It is your eternal job. Keeping watch over them while they are babies requires constant attention; watching them play as young children requires you to give them SOME distance. While they are teens and grow into adults, you give them space. But NEVER, EVER put your child into a situation where they are completely on their own to wander the city at such a young age. LENORE, you are just ASKING kidnappers to take your child away. Don't you LOVE them ENOUGH to be with them and sacrifice YOUR TIME for them. I grew up in the same time you did. My parents NEVER allowed me to do the things your children do. Because they loved me, cared for me and my sister and we both knew our parents were always there, whether or not we needed them. They just were there, in case. What a warm, loving set of parents I realize I had. They never abandoned me or my sister like you have your sons. I repay my parents now by honoring them and checking on them and taking care of them, like they did us. As you age, you and your husband will grow quite lonely when your sons don't give a crap about you, either.

I wonder if she is not the perfect woman? ie, her knickers are a size too small? Uptight or what?

Some people can take it too far of course, but every day is a school day.

British Second Wives Club

I just can't believe there is a club with that name. I'm curious if there is a third wives, or even fourth wives club now. If not, why not? I had a look at their site, expecting perhaps something similar to the Gold Wing Owners Club. Would it have handy hints and tips on restoring your worn and used husband to his former glory? Or perhaps some handy tips to ensure that, with a little regular maintenance, he'll continue to provide lots of riding pleasure in the years ahead? Would they all meet in country parks at various weekends throughout the summer, displaying their prized husbands in the hope of appearing in the local rag?

Much to my displeasure, no.

I'm a little disappointed though, having had a look that there are no such clubs for wife 3 or 4 (not that I'm planning that far ahead!) either. How do these poor women get by?

www.thebritishsecondwivesclub.co.uk

Only in America

My PLST and I have discussed the use of TV/DVD's and the like with regard to our kids at some length. We generally agree that the use of these things should be minimised, and have in fact questioned ourselves continually as to whether or not we are too harsh on BB by limiting cartoon time amongst other things. We're not total control freaks, he does watch In The Night Garden occasionally.

This article from The New York Times http://www.nytimes.com/2005/12/15/national/15toys.html?_r=1&oref=slogin makes me feel like a parenting guru. I mean, toys aimed at kids 7+ bought for a baby under one. Morons!

It's true though. Everywhere we go, new parents are telling us how smart, clever or intelligent their offspring are. Whilst I'd admit that a certain amount of academic success is probably more than useful, surely there's more to life? After all, I know my share of really clever people who are complete and utter knob jockeys.

I wonder if their parents gave them computers from an early age? My mum couldn't afford one for us when all our friends started getting them. Perhaps that was a blessing in disguise?

If only it was Only in America.