Santa Isn't Coming This Year

The gaps between blogs are getting bigger. The gaps between witty blogs even bigger again. It's got to the point that I'm getting emails (ok, email singular) asking me if the blog is still going.

Of course it is. I've just got nothing to say. I could whine about how busy we've been, how we've had no time in the run up to Xmas, or how I am stuck on this lump of steel until the 27th but I'm not going to. Aside from the last point, we've got the same hassles as every other family out there.

I might just whinge about my daughter (or rather my ex wife!) and that damn DS. Her mother forbid her to bring it to my house all year in case her little brothers broke it (which was fine by me), but then decided to let her bring it on the two visits before Christmas. The outcome of this you can get in detail from the wife's blog in detail, but to get you in the picture, R changed his Santa wishlist only a few days ago. After Santa has done his shopping. Rumour has it that SS was heard telling her brother to "just ask for one, you can get it in whatever colour you like." Who am I to spoil Xmas for a little boy who seldom asks for anything.......?

Or I could tell you that I was a pratt of the highest order. The storms had forced a tree over in our garden a few months back. I decided (eventually, as my Mrs like to remind me) to cut it down and dig the root out. I spent nearly a whole day grafting my backside off - no mean feat for a self confessed desk jockey now - but couldn't quite shift the last bit of the root. Ahh ha says me, I'll get the truck and a tow rope and full the fecker out.

I got myself organsied. In a rather manly kind of way, with my jeans hanging off my arse, I lifted said root from every direction to make sure all the big roots were broken. It was just a tad heavy for me on my lonesome. I got the truck into position, got the rope around the root, connected it all together and gave it some welly.

MPLST at this point (she never tires of reminding me of this bit) says what's that smell? It'll be nothing I assure her, just give it a bit more. Mmm, this root is more stubborn than I thought. Give it more. And more........oops, no grips. Shit! Ahh, there's a big root right underneath I've missed says me.

A few days later the clutch dies and the truck is useless. Into the garage she goes.

Here's the lesson now (if you've not gotten bored yet). When I called home yesterday, I was told the truck was fixed, and asked how much I was budgeting for the bill. I was hoping for change out of £500 say me rather hopefully. I had a sneaky suspicion I was being somewhat ambitious judging by her smug "I told you so" attitude.......

Double it and add some, says the wife. And closely follows this with a bout of I Told You So about the burning smell.

Good bloody job Santa's elves can make a DS I tell you. Good job I'm out here for all the Christmas nights out too........

Ho ho ho.

Finding That Balance

We're still trying (and succeeding to some degree) to fight off the gaming world and it's appeal to our loons. This is their "moderated" PC time, playing on the Cbeebies website - as you can see, R loves it, and even gave up some TV time to have this hour on the PC. O just wants to see what's going on - he staying in this same pose for about an hour overseeing his elder brothers playtime.
Big sis came this week with her DS though, and he did try and stash it in his "secret hiding place" when I wasn't looking. We're determined that Santa isn't going down that particular road until Xmas 2012 though....

That was through the week though. We did get a little break in the weather though for a change this weekend, which meant big sister got her first ride on her new bike which has been dormant in my shed since July. Probably just as well though, as she is only just big enough for it. It was rather pleasing to hear her say "we should do this more often, Dad" when we got back up the drive on our return.

Looking back at last years cycling pictures, they've grown some since we did this last too.

Skool Does Actually Suck

Remember the days where your own head was full of "school sucks?" I thought I had gotten past all of that, but it turns out, school has a second wind.

A few months ago, I had this great mental image that with the onset of school for the big boy, and nursery for the middle boy, that my days would become a lot more, well easy I guess. How wrong was I?

A the meerkat says, the theory is simples. Instead of having to do one run to nursery, and another 3 miles away to playgroup, we should now be revelling in the simplicity of having nursery and school in the same building. It's fair to say, mornings follow the theory - but then it all goes pear shaped.

When you live in the middle of nowhere, what is one supposed to do for that two and a half hour spell in the morning? Can't go to town. No Xmas shopping. You can barely get a head of steam up in the garden. Then, once you've collected nursery boy, it's a matter of 4 hours until your next appointment at the school gate.

It seems more than ever that we are slaves to the school clock, and that somebody is actually robbing hours from the day. And, it means that I have to do my Christmas shopping at the weekend along with the rest of the world. That's one of the perks of working offshore wasted!

Green Wellies and a Flat Cap

Country living has obviously taken it's toll on me - either that or old age is gaining fast? Last night MPLST pointed out that I looked the part of the proper country bumpkin.
We had a good night at the local firework display. It was pretty busy, C wasn't really phased by the fireworks and seemed to watch them rather curiously.
R, rather frustratingly, recalled that last year we were constantly on the move (as we were looking for friends in the crowd). This year, we arrived with said friends, and as it was a very clear and still night, we picked a great vantage point and decided to stick with it. He insisted on dragging mum for a good stroll around whilst I stayed put with C.
O enjoyed the night, but crashed and burned on the way home as is his way. Dad decided to make the most of the pleasant evening and push C home - and still arrived before the blethering wife. Shame she had the house key......

There Was 3 in the Bed

SS came to stay last weekend. Here is the scene I was greeted with when I surfaced on Saturday morning.
Suffice to say that they are all still getting on like the proverbial house on fire. It buys me an extra half hour or so in the morning, for which I am very grateful! What happens is BB tends to get up and inform me that it is morning (as if I didn't already know this!) and then creeps off to wake up his siblings. After that, they tend to force big sis to read stories for as long as she can be bothered. Given that she loves mothering them, and they love being mothered.....everybody's happy - until little bellies start to rumble at least.

We went to a Halloween party in the afternoon at Auntie K's, after stopping to show dad just how scary we can be.

Burnt Oot

This is what you get with a sick boy and a very tired mum.....

A Little Ray of Light

There has been much joviality about whether or not we'll add to our already significant brood - both at home and at work. Neither friend, nor colleague believe either of us when we say that, yes we think we are done, but no, it's not for certain yet. We're not knee jerkers you see. When we do decide, it will be for keeps.

Much as I wind MPLST up about visiting the doc, I'm not, and never have been adverse to having another one. But admittedly, if we were to have one, my preference would be to crack on with it. Let's face it, we're no spring chickens in the child bearing sense. Still recovering from the 10lb boy, MPLST is understandably more cautious! And of course, there are practicalities like work, finances and child care to consider too. The reality is that I have arrived at the conclusion before her - but we really are done.

Today, I got the first real sign of that from home. I'm only on day 2 away, and MPLST has sold the baby change station to her friend.

That's Progress!

For The Record...

He made it 1 week. That's all......7 days before he blew it at school. And when I say blew it, I mean seriously blew it. Not only did he fall out with his class teacher, he then went on to pick a fight with the headmistress.

Needless to say, dad was less than impressed. That night he got no stories, no TV and lost out on a trip to the toyshop to spend his birthday voucher.

Since then, we finished our first term at school on a high, by going 3 full days without upsetting either me or his teachers. Mrs M and I are in collaboration to nip this in the bud, and so far we are making good progress. Hopefully we'll continue this after the tattie picking holidays....

All of this is detracting from keeping tabs on what's really going on around here. The Wee Man is on solids, and the Middle Man generally is the root cause of everything funny around here. Hopefully, we'll get back to some degree of normality soon enough, and the camera will again become king.

A Battle of Wills

I'm sure it's not the first, and it'll be one in a line of many to come, but BB and dad are on a collision course. Head on!

It seems that he has taken to throwing tantrums at school. I can't stand to be the one who's kid is taking up all the teachers time, and I aim to nip it in the bud before it gets any worse. The annoying thing is, the wee snotterbag has sucked me into more arguments than I should have allowed already. Crikey, at 5 years old, he's pulling the strings in here already......

Oddly, his tempers are short lived, and he often falls back into the angelic little boy we all know and love very quickly. Can't think who else in this house changes mood at the snap of a finger like that ;-) Still, it's not on and it's already getting a regular feature of our discussion with Mrs M at the school gate. The growling and venting are not anything he has witnessed at home, but already I can see he is getting enough attention to keep them going, but I'll be damned if he's getting away with it.

After getting sucked into one row too many, and having used the secret phone line to both Mrs M and Santa, threatened to take away his new toys, even his bike (all of which I know is pointless, because the spoiled little Sir will happily play with something else), we (or rather I) have new plan.

We agreed tonight at bed time that I shall be asking Mrs M about his behaviour. I should mention he had already lost his story tonight for being cheeky to dad. Bedtime stories seem a fair trade at the moment, so here's plan K, or is it L? I'll be finding out if he has been rude/cheeky/aggressive/angry/sulky/pick your own adjective and insert, to any adults at school, and if so, he loses his bedtime story. If, on the other hand, he is good....all day, every day, then he can have two. This is an easy threat to follow through on, and whether you consider it good or bad parenting, I'm hoping it's effective parenting.

Until he learns, adapts and overcomes......

Wish You Weren't Here....

Today is BB's 5th birthday. I'm not one to be sentimental, I normally leave that side of things to Domestic Management. Today though, my mind has been cast back to that day 5 years ago sitting in what seemed like an ancient replica of a 1950's operating theatre, for which both Mrs W and I were ill prepared for.

We were pretty confident that all would be well. We (she) did all the right things through the pregnancy. I forced her to eat her greens. She didn't drink - not a drop, and she was active all the way through. It seemed to work too, we later had a chunky, but healthy boy who wasn't a kick in the backside off 9lbs. What we didn't even think once about, was BB coming out the sunroof.

After that long (so very long ) labour, after which the lazy mare could actually be arsed to give birth naturally, we got split up for what seemed like an eternity as she was prepared for the op. I remember being stuck in horribly bare locker room, with oversized cast iron radiators and pipes run over the walls. It was after 4 in the morning, and we'd been there for about 22 hrs. I was pooped, I kept dropping off as I waited on my own, then waking up with a start, thinking, that they would start without me. Eventually though, they came and got me.

That would prove to be the least gory child birth I'd ever witness. Other than catching MPLST's vomit, and being just a tiny bit concerned when they rattled (the lovely midwife had warned us there would be 3 sharp "tugs" as she put it") BB out of there, I saw my boy being carried upside down across the theatre by the ankle to the scales.

In those 5 years, we've squeezed in another couple of much more gruesome childbirth experiences. I'll leave those for another day... What we do have is a boy we can be proud of, he's not perfect, in fact, at times, he is a complete and utter little so and so. When he's good, which is most of the time, he is gentle, kind and very forgiving. He can't have got that from me. When he's not so good, he's stubborn, feisty and unreasonable in the extreme - but I guess he's allowed, he is only 5 for goodness sake. Incidentally, I got those traits from my mother, so it's all her fault.....

I guess we can be proud of what we've managed in those 5 years too. I read this article last night

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-14899148 called Children Need Time Not Stuff. It pretty much fits in with our philosophy. We're far from perfect, if I'm honest, they do have a lot of stuff too. But what they have all had, is either mum or dad, nearly all of the time. That's quite a mind shift from where we were 5 and a half years ago, when I can remember trawling through childminder reports, and visiting nurseries. I think it's the single best decision we have ever made (apart from pro creation in the first place ;-)

I've missed BB's birthday today because I am at work. Would you believe that it's the only day in a 4 year cycle where we actually plan to test everything, and I mean everything (even the batteries to the telecoms) trip on demand. The result, is that I managed to only speak to BB for about 30 secs this morning, but I did hear the excitement in his voice. Work is generally not that bad a place to be, but today has been slow.....despite being one of the busiest days I'm meant to have here.

Happy Birthday Son. I wish I was home so we could ride our bikes together today. x

Whaur's the Burds?

This one's not so much about the kids. I finally cashed in a voucher received last Chrimbo from MPLST to get up close and personal with some birds. Before you go thinking she has gone soft, it's the type with wings I'm on about here, and not bingo wings either!


Turned out to be a pretty good day. The big boys didn't seem to phased by the birds of prey, no matter how big their talons. BB did perk up when I explained that the eagle owl was bigger than him across it's wings though. It allowed MPLST to take some pretty cool pics too.




The boys managed a pose when they got home with their sunflowers too. They are just opening up, so not the best yet.....

And after all of that, I got caught having a wee kip whilst on duty. Oops!

The First One's First Day

August the 16th 2011 was indeed a momentous day in the BFS household. BB started school this morning. He has been looking forward to school with such excitement, that it was never really going to be an issue, but nevertheless, we are glad it went without a hitch. He joined his new classmates (all 4 of them!) for the morning after proudly modeling his new school clothes.


All set, he made his way there under his own steam too. Dad on the other hand struggled with the pedaling....the wee man can shift now!

Meanwhile, back at SH, LL has been tackling the potty for the last couple of days. The way forward is to do it outside, which aside from obviously saving your carpets and floors, also presents good photo opportunities for little bottoms......

I took and edited this one myself. Quite pleased with it - even if I do say so myself.....

I think he was looking for the cat in this one.....this is the post holiday bliss parents love. Whilst BB was at school, LL roamed semi naked in the name of toilet training whilst we had a jam donut and some coffee. Whoever said kids were hard work??

I shouldn't (and couldn't) forget the wee man as well. Whilst all this chaos goes on around him, all he does is drink milk and pose for the camera.

One down...two to go!

Camping Holidays

Our friends thought we were mad - a camping holiday with three kids under 5. Turned out to be brilliant! On top of that, mum and dad are probably as well rested as we have been since Bambino 3 came along.

For the uninitiated, here's how you do it. One 6 man tent with three 2 man rooms. Two big boys in together, mum and baby in together, and daddy on his own ;-) No Tango Victor, so once kids down to bed, there's time for some reading amongst the baby time, and early to bed for everyone. Simples.

Like the eggs, MPLST's camera got scrambled and we lost the best of our pics. Here's a selection of those rescued from her phone. She didn't come on the boat trip out to the islands, so all the seal and puffin pics are lost forever. There's always next year though......

We visited a castle......people live in this one! I thought the boys would be bored, but they had a great time.

Obviously, big lollies help.....

....and guns too.....

We did a train trip on a fun sized steam train....


Everyone enjoyed it. Even if it did rain from time to time....

....but when it didn't, we roasted marshmallows round the fire. Don't tell social services we used a proper fire ;-)

As usual, LL came along at his own merry pace. Like the train, he gets there eventually.

Dancing Queens. Two of a Kind

It's great having the house to yourself. I can play blog catch up.....

Last leave, the boys had their dance show. LL lasted well, not bad given start time was his half an hour past his normal bed time. He needed some TLC after the interval, but he enjoyed his outing I think.

As you can see, BB looks like he is enjoying female company. Maybe this dancing lark will work out for him......