Chicken Casserole

In the interests of clarity, I should point out that last nights blog was written with my tongue firmly planted in my cheek. I did receive a message or two this morning from concerned friends thinking it was all going down the swanny. Seems someone might even have been keeping a place for me at their kitchen table just to make sure I don't go hungry. It'll serve MPLST well to know that I'm obviously being looked after!

Anyway, today was far less stressful a day. Only 2 boys to look after and no wife. BB had his last dance class before next weeks show. Shame I'll miss it - I won't miss the looks from all the other dad's that say "Why are you torturing that poor little boy?"

After listening to a chorus of "soup is not my favourite" all the way home (having explained soup was indeed what we were having for lunch), BB proceeded to demolish it. At one point, he was simultaneously scoffing it whilst telling me it was too hot and he couldn't eat it. And you lot think I'm confused.......

On the way to the park this afternoon, we noticed that the farm around the corner was having an Aberdeen Angus Open Day. Having noticed an ice cream van, I figured we'd give that a go. Turns out it was more of a farmer's do, where they were bidding on bovine beasts or buying cattle feed and agricultural machinery. Still we saw big coos and wee coos, so boys were happy.

Thereafter, decided to do park before ice cream. You will note that the messy wee buggers were left to sit on the sill of the car until their ice cream was finished. All they cared about was the ice cream though. Happiness continued.

BB and I planted the sweetcorn in the greenhouse this afternoon, then admired all our seedlings from last weeks planting. Beetroot, lettuce, peas and carrots have all made an appearance. He seems impressed, but will he eat them? We'll see.

I'm having another fun Saturday night in with Ant n Dec tonight. Roll on lunch time tomorrow when we become four again. I swear that I do firmly believe all the tosh about spending quality time with one's kids, but when one is under the weather and kids are ill, it's not all it's cracked up to be!

Wham, Bam, Thank You.......Man???

Once upon a time, perhaps when I was under the illusion that I was a young stallion of a man, I may have lived by the motto Love Them and Leave Them. I really didn't expect to get loved and left as an (allegedly!!) happily married man. It seems that is indeed what has happened.


After being away to work for a week of my 2 week leave, MPLST arrived home late last night only to turn our house upside down and inside out before buggering off again (another hen weekend) this afternoon. In those twenty hours or so she single handedly created more mayhem around the house than 2 (yes two) kids with a combined age of 4 managed in a whole bloody week!!

From where I'm sitting, it would seem that her sole reasons for coming home were to
1. Get some BFS lovin'
2. Grab clean clothes and leave me the washing
3. Bake some cakes for said hen do.
4. Finish making T shirts, again for hen do.


I'd probably not be too bothered about it, had say, number 1 on the list reflected itself as her number 1 priority. The brutal reality for the modern stay at home mug, sorry I mean dad, is that it was exactly the reverse of that order above. And I'm pretty sure number 1 is only in there to keep me sweet!

To rub salt in my already bleeding wounds, I got up this morning to find the mug of tea I made her whilst she was hard at it last night untouched. Oh, and that was along with each and every thing she had used covering the very space I need to feed the kids breakfast this morning. So essentially, I think I am whoring myself out to MPLST now. It seems that in return for a token hump, I will clean up at her arse and look after the kids. Not a bad deal if you can get it ladies.

It's probably a good thing for her that I can't afford another divorce!! Maybe if treat them mean, you really can keep them keen. It's working for her.

I Can See The Seaside Daddy

Since the weather is remarkably good (that was one especially for MPLST who is missing out again, as she earns some pennies offshore), I decided the ideal way to pass the afternoon was to take all 3 kids to the beach.

Turned out ok, 26 degrees C as well. That has to be the highlight of a Scottish summer, and so early in the year too. I fear it can only go downhill from here. Even I am a tad burned on the shoulders - good job I lathered the kids in cream this morning. LL was looking a little red, but it's to be expected of one so fair I think.
On the downside, the pics I took are all too dark. Being a point and shoot photographer, even with MPLST's all signing toys, means that when someone goes in and plays with the settings I don't notice until I get home and look at the pics, which are all too dark. Nevertheless, I shall post a few for mum who won't see her boys for some time yet.

The only sour note of the day was listening to BB greet his wee heart out as we ascended an all mighty sand dune on the way back to the car. It was tough for him apparently. Dad wasn't overly sympathetic given I had LL on my shoulders, the change bag, a rucksack, the cool box and a bag of bloody toys too. Oh, and his sister and him had spend the hour previously venturing up and down said dune in the name of fun.

Bastards!

No, not my kids. Since I've not seen them for ages, I'll opt for topical humour.

While walking down the street one day a "Member of Parliament" is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.

'Welcome to heaven,' says St. Peter. 'Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you.'
'No problem, just let me in,' says the man.
'Well, I'd like to, but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in hell and one in heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity.'
'Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in heaven,' says the MP.
'I'm sorry, but we have our rules.' And with that, St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a clubhouse and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him. Everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, shake his hand, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at the expense of the people.They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster, caviar and champagne.
Also present is the devil, who really is a very friendly & nice guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes. They are having such a good time that before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a hearty farewell and waves while the elevator rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him. 'Now it's time to visit heaven.'
So, 24 hours pass with the MP joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns. 'Well, then, you've spent a day in hell and another in heaven. Now choose your eternity.'
The MP reflects for a minute, then he answers: 'Well, I would never have said it before, I mean heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in hell.'
So St. Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he's in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags as more trash falls from above. The devil comes over to him and puts his arm around his shoulder. 'I don't understand,' stammers the MP. 'Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and clubhouse, and we ate lobster and caviar, drank champagne, and danced and had a great time. Now there's just a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable. What happened?
'The devil looks at him, smiles and says, 'Yesterday we were campaigning.. .. Today you voted.'