The Rotavator

You little beauty, or not so little as the case may be. Our newest, and....I'll say youngest, as littlest is a tad misleading arrived early this morning. A smidge over the 10lb mark, he has essentially rotavated his mothers lady garden just in time for summer. Poor woman. Those who had money on a darker shade are quids in too. I'll wait until his colour settles out, but I think I may need to change their blog identities to Dark, Milk and White for simplicity. Unfortunately, MPLST has the camera and card, so I can't even post a pic. LL was not overly impressed initially at the prospect of sharing his mummy with his younger sibling. It seemed to pass though. We'll see what tomorrow holds. Right now, I need sleep....................

Gie's Peace!

We're still not at D Day, but already the constant question "has there been any movement?" is driving me up the bloody wall. By half eleven this morning when I picked up BB from nursery, I think I had been asked something along those lines no fewer than 8 times by 8 different people.

Already I am dreaming up not so witty and sarcastic answers. I mean, really, do people really think that in the last 24 hours since they saw or heard from me that we've popped out another child? On top of that, do they think that I'd not mention the small matter of a new addition at some point in the conversation? It sure beats "fine day today.....better than yesterday......"

To be fair, it's not from close friends and family this time around, they learned their lesson last time around! But at least then MPLST was 2 weeks overdue. This time around it seems to be the local mums. I must work on my cold stare techniques......

And whilst I'm at it.......do people think the world stops spinning when a new baby is coming? The looks we seem to get for daring to leave the house when D Day is so close are startling to say the least. We took the loons swimming today, not exactly an Arctic expedition, and dare I say it, I expect being in a pool made Fatty (as she has become known in SH), a little more comfortable. I did lecture her though so stripping the boiler and trying to repair it earlier though.......

We even that that rare event of a meal without kids last night. I treated MPLST to a belated birthday meal. Could be the last time we get out together for a long time..........

We're less than 3 weeks until Due Date. I suppose it's about time we take the thought of a new arrival seriously. Not that we weren't beforehand of course, but experience has taught me that my role for the initial 9 months of fetal development is to perform my role as chief cook and bottle washer on a pretty much full time basis. Actually, come to think of it, it didn't really stop at the birth for wither of the boys. Can't see this one being any different then.

What's to tell? Wife is enormous. In fact, I saw her behind a glass door this morning, and she has the silhouette of Mr Greedy. I jest you not! The other mummies obviously didn't see the funny side. Fortunately, Mrs Greedy did!

Boys are becoming rather excited about the baby coming. Mum (and dad) come to think of it, just want to sleep. All the time.
We had a visit from Big Sis too that passed without a hitch. She too is keen to have another younger sibling to look after.

Whilst we are surrounded by OCD cleanliness freaks, I decided after preparing the veggie patch for spring, it was just the place for twenty little green fingers to play. Nobody died. This of course contravenes the notion that all the equipment at our toddler group needs cleaned yet again because
a) there are a lot of new babies around
b) it's long overdue
c) other Toddler groups appear to be doing it

Do these people not take their kids to the swing park where some dog has probably pee'd on the roundabout just before Precious McSmudgkins goes for a burl?
Rant over.......

The Things You Find.....

......when you go looking through the wife's camera. This tickled me......

Get Ready
We're off.....

Nah. Sod it! I think I'll pose for the camera instead.

Miraculous Powers of Recovery

You might think I'm being cynical (as if), but bear with me.......


.....you may have read on Porkie's blog that my last two contact visits with SS have been less that straightforward. It seems that her sick cycle is perfectly synchronised with our contact cycle. Amazing that, isn't it?


Two weeks ago, she was apparently sick. Too sick to come to dad's house. At least her mother had the forethought to tell me the day before. All this not withstanding the fact that when I spoke to her, she was bright as a button and told me about her trip to the cinema that very same weekend. Ho hum....


Of course, her mother was never going to agree to an additional weekend. Heaven forbid the lass actually has some QT with her dad. So that takes us right up to this weekend. SS apparently had a headache, and couldn't got to school on Friday. The headache developed in a fever and flu all within the space of 6 hours. That's right, influenza!

Not content with keeping her away because of this mystery illness, my ex didn't think it worthwhile to tell me this before I see off on a 3 hour round trip. Not for the first time, I found my visit cancelled about 20 mins from her front door. I was half expecting this turn of events (she does rather telegraph the pass in football speak), so I took it all in my stride as one does. Let's face it, there's not much you can do when she gets the child to phone and explain why she can't come.

Having got there, and not seen my daughter for 7 weeks, I thought I'd try and see her if even for an hour or two. Alas no, she was too ill. Not to worry says dad, I'll call tomorrow, if she's ok, I'll come and pick her up then. One night is better than no nights, and what's another 120 mile trip between father and daughter.

Imagine my surprise when I get a text telling me she is hunky dory A ok, asking me when am I picking her up! Before 10 am too. Amazing! This tale only gets better from here.....keep reading.

Off I trots, this time not telling BB where I'm going for fear of further disappointment. Out comes SS from her house, skipping merrily to the car, whilst her mother tells me to watch out, that she was sick last night. Oh, she was that much better was she?

In the car SS tells me that she went to youth club this morning. As is normal, a trip to the chippy for lunch came after. "What did you have darling?" asks me in a very interested kind of way. Battered sausage and chips comes the reply. I can only assume she is feeling much better. Washed down with Pepsi too.....

So, in summary, SS has been laid low with a flu bug that has (rather conveniently) cost her another day with dad. But her remarkable powers of recovery have seen her beat it inside 24 hours. Amazing. On top of that, she has polished off a sausage supper less than 12 hours after (allegedly) being up sick. Not to mention the cartwheels at youth club.

She really must be a chip off the old block. Either that, or her mother is a deceitful, lying, manipulating bitch.


You choose.

But all's well that ends well. BB was very pleased to see his sister and greeted her with his biggest bestest bear hug!





Then we got just a wee bit carried away with the rugby.